I have a sweet, dear friend that has been 'encouraging' me
to blog about our experience visiting a college
that our Caylor is interested in.....better late than never....
As most of you with high school children can relate,
the question "what are your plans after high school??" begins just
after Freshman orientation. When our
son was nearing graduation, I dreaded
that question. Our society has conditioned
us to think that college is the ONLY option
after high school. He, our son, did not want
to pursue college. We did not push him.
To say that we did not struggle with him NOT
going to college we would be lying. Every
parent wants
to be able to share with their friends "our son/daughter
is going to seek a degree in medicine, solving the world's
deepest/darkest secrets, change the world, etc". You
know the modern day hero. It's a pride thing when you struggle to say "nope, he has chosen to pursue work". Well....we've
conquered that hurdle. But ONLY that
hurdle...lol :) I know there is still
more to learn with the hurdles to come...
Moving forward......
Luckily, with already graduating a
student that did not attend college,
"that question" has not been frequently
asked. I don't know if people just
expect her to not go to college or do not
realize that she is graduating so soon
("so soon" --that's my assessment) or ....???
So she entered this school year....
confident, energized, ready
(great adjectives, huh??)....until that
moment of 'what am I going to be doing next year?' hit her.
She comes to me and says, "Mom, I don't know if I
want to go to college..." I waited for the
rest of the thought, but that was it. A few
days go by, and she comes to me again
and says, "I think I will just find a job and save some money, take a gap year."
Now, a little back history, we have told our children that
'finding a job' could NOT in any way shape or form
include a cash register....they NEED SKILLS!!! So,
the search for a job, that did not include a cash register
and that would increase her skills, began.
She's known
for a few years that she wanted to be involved in
missions. Caylor plans to graduate May 2016.
In January she comes to me and says,
"I think I may have found a college that will allow me to
pursue missions and a degree in elementary
education." My first thought was 'I thought you
were going to just pursue a job'.... (yes, I was slightly
grieved :) ) Then reality hit and she needed me to
support her, engage in what she was saying....I did.
She brought up the idea of Bethany Global University.
I told her to pray about it. She says, "I have"--gently, shyly.
Ok...so where is it?? MINNESOTA!!!! Minnesota, y'all!!!
8 hours in the car....8 hours away!!!
At this point, she is still in her 'waiting period'
to obtain her driver's license.
How?? How do we do this??
Back to reality, mom, back to reality....
We can do this.
And....she wants to pursue
missions with a minor in civil justice.
She will be pursuing a
degree that will allow her to minister to those without hope
and to those trapped in sex trafficking, abusive situations, etc.
Remember how I mentioned that every parents wants to
share how their child is 'going to save the world'...I guess what
I really meant was 'change the world by
looking like you're
doing a good thing while secretly being at home with
your mom and dad that eventually includes a husband/wife that you are faithful to and
a house full of children'....right??
Africa....she has her sights set on Africa.
Back when she had decided that she would just pursue a job...she had a list of 'reasons' that kept her from pursuing college: (just to mention a few)
1. taking the SAT/ACT
2. offering her interests as a degree
3. opportunity for missions
Bethany Global University is a mission-minded college.
They want students that are capable academically,
but that is not their main focus. Caylor has
always struggled with test taking....so the idea
of taking SAT/ACT was very intimidating for her.
SAT/ACT is not required. She has always
wanted to protect those that cannot protect themselves....
Needless to say, BGU offers all of what she wanted
and did not require things that she would prefer to avoid. :)
#therunawaytrain has left the depot.
The wheels began to obtain information
about the college, a visit, the obvious--costs....
you know...the usual college route. She contacted
the college for further information, and,
in the meantime, decided she wants to visit.
The plans were made...we were scheduled to
visit the campus March 3, 2016. We would leave
March 2nd to allow for travel time, stay on campus,
tour on March 3rd, and head
home March 4th.
There were lots of correspondence of what
to expect. To say that they could not have
prepared us for what we encountered would
not be an exaggeration. :)
We arrived
to the college after a long day of driving,
encountering a winter storm, after dark, and
with anticipation, of what we would see, building.
We were greeted by a pleasant
young woman.
She introduced herself, showed us to our room, and gave us
instructions as to what we could expect for the following
day (agenda: sit in on two freshman classes of our choice, chapel,
lunch, tour, appt to meet with financial advisor). We settled in,
set the alarm, and the room progressively became very quiet.
The alarm sounded the next morning.
I slept....lightly....as the reality of
that knowing of being where she
needed to be was weighing heavily on me.
We went for breakfast at McDonalds.
We arrived back on campus to the same pleasant young
woman. The pleasant young woman directed us to our first freshman
class that we would be sitting in on.
As she guided us to the classroom,
I witnessed genuine friendships, young men and woman that
were 'careful' with mixed company,
professors that genuinely cared about missions....
but it was the second class that we sat in on that
was the most fun. It was a class that is
required by ALL freshman to attend.
It's a class that is designed to challenge the students to
own their own relationship with Christ.
We had the privilege
of introducing ourselves to the professor....neat guy!!! :)
We were directed to the cafeteria. Back in October
we visited a Christian college in Oregon, when we
sat down for lunch...not one person introduced themselves...
we sat alone. At BGU, we had to drag extra
seats over to allow for all of us to fit around the
table. It was a great time of fellowship with those
that joined us. We were blessed to hear how God
was working in their life, brought them to BGU, the
ministry opps they have experienced thru BGU.
Chapel....well, as I have said before...we have been spoiled.
At our home church (FBC) we have solid teaching and a
congregation that truly desires to live the gospel.
It solidified our decision to find her a church if she
ended up attending here. The tour was, as I am sure
you would already expect, the least interesting part of the day.
We chose to stay one more night to allow an
opp to meet with pastors of local churches. We
began researching churches prior to leaving
for our visit. We were lucky to find a church that
'sounded' good via their website. We were
disappointed to find that many local churches
did not offer a mid-week service of any sort.
The church that 'sounded' good made time
for us to meet with the pastor. We were pleasantly
surprised meeting the pastor.
We asked a lot of
questions and he filled in a lot of 'holes'
as we call them in our house.
As we departed, everyone was quiet.
In my own opinion, I think it was that
sobering moment of realizing that #therunawaytrain
we were driving was gaining speed and ground.
You spend years nurturing, praying, agonizing,
crying, smiling, laughing, living with these eternal
souls that we have been trusted with to be reminded
that they are not ours....they are HIS. I
spent yesterday helping a friend and discussing
how easy it is to think that we can
'save our children'. I am grateful that my
job is not to 'save my children', but rather to point them to Him.
As I write this, I think about how big her heart is,
how much she just loves people, how she HATES
injustice....funny thing, she sounds like her brother
that 'just pursued a job' after high school.
Pro 16:9
We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.
She found out a few days ago that she was accepted...
SHE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED!!!
We are so proud of her.
Now....the road to prepare for her departure
begins...and the realization that her never really
living with us again will probably end when she
packs her car and moves to BGU.
