it's happened...

 

Today in our household was another

"It's happened" moment.

 

We have experienced a lot of first with our first-born, hence, the phrase 'first born' right??

Did I ever think that some of our firsts with him would feel so small and yet be so BIG?? 

Like:

His first night as birthed baby

His first night at home with just his very inexperienced parents

His first day of school

His first time at church camp

His first understanding of who Christ is for himself

His first best friend

His first fight,

(which I might add was to defend a kindergartener)

His first lost tooth

 

Well....you get the picture.

I know that when we first get the news that a new life has been

given that life will change every day a little bit or a lot,

but no one prepared us for the

 'much later down the road BIG changes'.

 

Today, as I have already mentioned, our first born experienced

yet another "It's happened" moment...

He got his license to drive - legally!!

I entered the facility cool.

I sat waiting on him to be called for his test - totally sick to my stomach.

I sat waiting for him to return from his test - now shaking.

To then see that amazing smile light up the place with a sense of

accomplishment and doubt....

I motioned with my face 'how did you do'?

His return face response was 'Not sure'.

He got the word that he passed. 

We left the place with me holding back tears and him sighing a sigh of relief.

HE PASSED!!!

 

To say that I wish I would have worked all the

years my children were small would never happen!!

To say that I wished I had a prestigious job now would

never happen!!

I would have never been privileged to experience so many BIG and small

"It's happened" moments.

BUT

To say that I am SOO very proud of the young

man he has become...

wouldn't even give it justice.

 

Red hat club... or not??

 

How many hats does a person wear in a day??

How many of those hats are worn in perfection??

How do you decide if you are doing a good job wearing that hat??

How many of those hats do you justify to make the hat fit perfectly??

What happens when you find out that the a specific hat does not fit??

How do you respond when someone tells you that that specific hat does not look good on you?

Or that you are wearing it incorrectly??

Or not wearing for the right reasons??

 

As a wife and mom I wear many hats:

** wife and mom - obviously

** encourager

**cheerleader - yes, I am the one on the

sidelines yelling REALLY loud = just ask my kids

** advocate

** defender

** guidance counselor

** teacher

** nurse

** the one to bounce idea off of

** disciplinarian - also known as the 'bad guy' at our house

** "military mom' as known by some

 

Now, let me start off, after that wonderful list,  by saying that

I DO NOT DO ANY OF THESE JOBS PERFECTLY!!!

However, I do take each of those jobs VERY SERIOUSLY!!!

Serious enough that if I ever stop learning what the REAL definition

 of any one of these mean or look like

I will be being laid to rest, and enjoying eternity-God willing.

 

So where does the REAL definition come from??

Vogue magazine (geared for woman of today)?  Nah...don't think so.

I know!!  How about Wikipedia??  Nah...not there either.

When I go looking for what anyone of those hats, and

many more that are not on that particular list looks like...

I consult who God says I am wearing that hat.

Pro 31:25

Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoin in time to come.

 

I have had lots of people tell me along the way that

I don't wear some of those hats correctly, appropriately,

efficiently enough, etc, etc -

You get the picture....

But who decides all of that??

Why do 'they' get to decide all of that??

Again, I am not looking for perfection, but I would like to hear

 at the end of the day:

 "... let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."  Heb 12:1

"Well done my good and faithful servant" Mat 25:21

That's the justification for my faults which are many...

 

I have a brother that is 17 months younger than me.

While we were growing up we were pretty close...we were practically

twins due to our age.

I remember numerous people telling us how much

we looked alike. 

Awe...right??

How endearing -- NOT!!

Especially when you get to be about 12 or 13 and wanting desperately to look

and sound like a girl...right??

So, I decided well before my eclectic style of fashion

began that I would NEVER wear a hat

so that I would avoid looking more like my brother - the boy!

Now don't get me wrong...I have a very nice looking brother,

but....  I wanted to be a girl!!

But the hats that I have been given in life aren't necessarily

a fashion no-no, but rather an enhancement to the ensemble.

And they don't always fit - correctly!!

So what's a girl to do?? 

Make it work - be adjustable,

or throw out the hat - and call it quits??

So my personality won't allow anything that has life still

in it to be thrown away...and that includes 'life hats'.

When a hat needs justification to fit the ensemble...

God has been faithful to instruct how to 'bedazzle' it

to fit the plan he had for the said accessory.

(yes, I am completely outside my comfort zone using fashion words-

definitely not my forte)

All things work together for them that love God, and are called according to HIS purpose.

Rom 8:28

 

HOWEVER, when you wear a hat that is not yours or does not fit...

(and I am not talking about physically fitting-not fitting your role)

who are you taking the blessing from ??

I think about all the hats that I wear in a day's time that

I PUT ON MYSELF...

Who am I stealing the blessing of that hat from:
My husband?

My children?
My neighbor?

Well....you get the picture.

 

Some of you have heard of the TV reality show called,

"What Not to Wear"... Right??

I have seen the above mentioned show maybe once or twice...

I turned it off or asked for it to be changed after a few minutes

 of watching  two people deciding that the ''skin" (comfort zone)

 of one person does not fit their 'ideological' version of fashion.

I JUST WANTED TO HURL!!

Now, I am not saying that some, and yes I am including myself in this equation,

don't have a need for fashion police on occasion,

BUT... Can't we gently, without throwing rocks at

each other, do that???

Can't we catch more flies with honey vs vinegar (Ps 15:1)??

 

I am a very passionate person...

*chuckling*

Most of you are gasping in surprise--I know....

I don't offend easily (you all can thank my sisters for that)...

BUT... 

don't stop learning how to be someone who wears

every hat given to them to be presented before our KING.

Pro 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;

fools despise wisdom and instruction.

 

Let grandma be grandma her way.

Let your mom be elderly her way.

Let your sister be a wife/mom her way.

Let your daughter be a woman of God her way.

Let your girlfriend be a friend her way.

 

 Last night as I was processing my day,

here's what I went to bed processing...

 I have been a part of a conversation with folks who

take the job of wife/mom

as 'just part of their lives' instead of

the GREATEST role we could be given!!! 

I also thought about a conversation that I had with a friend

that felt it necessary to decide whether another

was justified in their response to a life altering day...

 

Please be careful deciding if someone is wearing the

hat their given with dignity, pride, ignorance, or naiveté....

Rabbits, Rabbits, and more bunnies??

Last week we received a phone call that a friend of ours,

who knew that we had considered raising rabbits,

was selling their rabbits, hutches, watering pails,

remaining feed, and brooding boxes...and wondered

if we would be interested in purchasing them.

Well??? 

OF COURSE WE WERE!!! 



So we loaded up the van to check out the hutches

and rabbits, and before leaving we

paid the owner the asking price.

Two days later--we are making another

trip to pick up 'our purchase'. 

The guys worked very diligently to prepare the area

 that they the rabbits/bunnies would call their

'new home'.  As we left, we left

one doe that due to have bunnies due to the stress

of moving them to be too much. 

Today?

We returned to the owner's house to collect the

doe that was due and her new

bunnies. 

The whole family...

They are so sweet and so little.

So what is the purpose of adding this to our

'homestead' you may be asking yourself...

As cute as they are they will soon be

nourishment.  Mostly they will

be nourishing the dogs, but I am hoping to

expose my children and family to some

RABBIT STEW!

We will let you know how that goes... :)

June 8, 2012

Doe "mommy #3" had babies.  If you look
real close you can see a pink "shade" in the bottom/middle
- still unsure how many. 
Momma is not willing to share them just yet.

Daddy's little girl and Momma's little boy

When does this change?

How does this change?

Does it have to change?

When I moved out of my parent's house, I moved in

with my 'now husband'.

When I moved out of my parent's house, I did

not know how to do laundry-completely.

When I moved out of my parent's house, I did not know

how to cook many things.

I barely knew how to boil water.

When I moved out of my parent's house, I did not know what it

meant to keep a house or raise a family. 

As I prepared to be a wife the week of our wedding,

I know now that I had no idea

what I was getting into.

I had been 'playing' the part of a wife, but still did not

understand what it really meant.

When I brought my son home from the hospital, I did not

know how to change a diaper.

When I brought my daughter home from the hospital,

I did not know how to manage a two

year old and a newborn.

I watch my daughter with her dad and smile

because I see a sense of safety in her eyes and demeanor

that only a girl who has felt that will understand.

When I see my son open doors, offer to help, and find ways

to make himself available--I smile then too,

because I see a young man who is

caring, masculine, and

confident with who he is.

BUT....with all this being said....

As I watch my children becoming young adults I step back and  

wonder if we have done enough to prepare them

for adulthood.

I realize that we have a little time on our hands,

but not near enough when you realize that

their training, or lack thereof, can

be the difference between

whether they are ready....or not.

Is she ready to keep a home and raise a family?

Is he ready to provide for a home and family?

Society is going to tell her that being a

God-fearing wife and mother is not

glorious enough--IT IS!!

Society is going to tell him that being a good-leading,

God-fearing husband and father 

is not masculine enough--IT IS!! 

Are we being diligent enough

to raise young men and women to be ready for the role

God has given them?? 

My prayer is that when my children step into the role God has

given them that they are ready

to meet each day ready for what He has for them,

and that they never stop being

"Daddy's little girl and Momma's little boy" at heart.

I will miss them being

here everyday, but I also know that

what I will be missing is not going to be anchored in

guilt...but rather missing their company, their opinion,

their laughter, their comraderie with each other and

saturated in knowing they are doing

exactly what God has for them.

Daddy's little girl and Momma's little boy

Grandma Bonnie (Clark) Roney...new and old...

As I look around my house I notice a piece

of heritage that was left and 're-made'

for a new use. 

 Before I was born my Grandma Bonnie, my mother's mother, passed away

...so my only 'known'

memories of her are only from what I hear,

which by the way if she is not an angel

right now--she must have been here on earth--

or maybe both?? 

So then my thoughts wonder ....

"Who is most like her?"

"Whose personality is closest to her?"

"Who resembles her the most?" 

 "Who has the stories that are closest to the 'real' her?"  

 "Who can tell me what happened when she got real mad?"

"Who really disciplined the kids?"

"What advice would she give to each one of us 'kids' if she were still alive?"

"What regrets, if any, did she have?"

"What were her brightest moments or memories?"

So back to this 'piece of heritage' that I still keep in my front room...

my only heirloom from her, my own personal memory of her --

An Angel made from her old linens.

My Aunt Cathy chose to embellish these 'old' linens and make them

beautiful...needless to say I could have never imagined an

old pillow case being something so

feminine, delicate, personal, and yet so full of answer I may never have.

When I see the white of the original case,

the soft pink that 'gathers' the hands,

the 'string' of flowers that

can not be found anywhere these days,

and the dust that continues

to collect on it...

I am reminded of so many things, but mostly, I think,
it depicts, in my mind, what I picture when I picture my grandma:

A woman with pure intentions, hands reaching out in love,

 and a gentleness that may never be found again.

So it sounds depressing, but it shouldn't!!!

It should be a challenge to each

one of us to leave a legacy to our grandchildren, that we may never meet, full of

pure intentions, hands reaching out in love, and a gentleness that will only be found right here. 

Unpredictability

  Our lifestyle is beyond the description of unpredictable...
How am I handling it??? 

I'M NOT!!!

I don't even know how to adjust to it. 

I have, since having my kids, become so rigid with planning and scheduling...
so I will admit that I definitely had rom in

my life for being more unpredictable, but REALLY???? 
I decided today that I am going to, at some point, write a book to help other
RRing wives, but....
what do you write??
how do you write 'help' for RRers??
where do you start??

So here is where I am starting:

1.  Accept my husband at face value.
2.  Realize that what 'God puts together - let no man put asunder' is
God's plan for your marriage.
3.  Trust.
4.  Respect: given - not earned.
5. Respect has been distorted by media, society, and our ignorances.
6.  Be grateful for his full effort of providing.
7.  Be frugal.
8.  Quality relationships are INTENTIONAL.
9.  Romance is HIGHLY overrated.
10.  Intimacy comes in many different shapes, sizes, and colors.
11.  Real agape love is not self-seeking, selfish...
12.  (I left the most important aspect of surviving the RRing life)
God as your central anchor.

I will not pretend that I didn't buy into the brainwashing idea of what 'adult life'
would be like.  Or should I say married life?? 
I was told all my life that Cinderella meets her prince charming and lives happily ever after.  I know...who believes that - right??  Well...many of us women do.  Deliberately or not...we expect a part of
that 'fairy tale' lifestyle to some extent or another. 
Living the life of a RRer's wife is not going to meet the 'fairy tale' idea,
but here is what will meet:

1.  Stability.
2.  A job that has excellent retirement and benefits.

It is all about perspective. 

If you are a RRing wife needing someone to help you thru why you can't even plan tomorrow with your husband...what about the wife who is nursing her husband thru cancer wondering if tonight will be the last night she will snuggle her husband.
If you are a RRing wife needing someone to 'fill in the gap of meeting your needs'...what about the wife who stares at the picture of her deceased serviceman who gave his life for 'her' country knowing that he is never coming home and can't stomach the thought of turning to anyone else to do so.
If you are a RRing wife that has to tell your little Jane or little Bobby no to that pair of tennis shoes that he or she wants...what about the father that has to face his children that are hungry, dirty and homeless after he lost his job, dignity, self-esteem and sense of worth or value. 
If you are a RRing wife (or mom) that does not know how to explain to little Jane or Little Bobby why daddy couldn't be at their game tonight....what about the mom who explains to her little Jane or Bobby why  their daddy is overseas fighting for our freedom and that is why he is not able to be at his or her game.

We, as RRing wives, may not have our husbands home every night to 'meet our needs' or to play with our children, but we do have one thing our husbands working close to home with a confidence that he will be home safe and sound, God willing, following that next train ride.

It is all about perspective. 

Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect.

"Sprucing up"

After much attempt our June get-together

with the Shelbyville

homeschooling group was just not panning out.

So....after putting a few heads together

we decided that one our families needed some

much needed assistance.



Before lunch a few wanted to take a dip.



LUNCH!!! 

PBJs always work!!

And then out to the porch they went to enjoy your lunches... 

I think the girls out number the boys....

.....baby 'holders' were not in short supply... :)

 This is what happens when eight mommas (and their children) get busy sprucing things up. There were lots of laughs, discussing curriculum and various topics, and 'catching up' going on....Did I forget to mention that there was some cleaning involved??

One mom's comment about today was: "Can I just say how awesome it is to be one in the body of Christ...

So first century church."

We had a great time and I hope we met the goal of blessing such a wonderful family!! 

Thanks to everyone who was able to help... xoxo to all.

I am so lucky to belong to such a

wonderful group of people united with the one, true God.