Sharpening or cutting

I have the privilege of spending 30 minutes three 

times a week with a group of women... So I choose to 

spend 90 minutes out of my week with them, 

why is that a privilege??  Because these 

women and I have one common denominator....we exercise (no, this 

was not a New Year's resolution...we began our 'habit' at the 

beginning of November :) )!  We don't discuss our children, 

our husbands, our finances, our doctrinal views...you get the picture.  

Now, please do not hear that these topics are not 

important or that they are not worthy of being discussed.  

But!, please hear me say that these topics do not 'cloud' 

the common denominator of our goal to be healthier 

and stronger...the encouragement regarding

these topics are just a bonus.  

I will also not say that these topics don't come up....

If you know me at 

all (a little or a lot), I am an open book...You don't have to 

wonder what is going on in my life.... :) 

Well because we are women--we do, on occasion, 

talk, and this morning did not disappoint...  

One of the ladies and I were discussing a scenario where a 

tough conversation had to happen.  A tough conversation that, 

out of love, HAD TO HAPPEN for the recipient's eternal 

well-being.  As she was talking, I was reflecting 

on a conversation that I had with a friend 

this week that was, needless to say, a little challenging.  

The questions that I asked from myself, about my 

convo with my friend, are the same questions 

that my friend was 'mulling' over: 

How does scripture advise us to handle tough conversations that HAVE to happen??

How does Christ exemplify handling tough conversation that HAVE to happen??

How does Christ exemplify humility in tough situations?

How does Christ encourage reconciliation?

Why do we extend forgiveness? 

How do we extend forgiveness regardless where the fault falls??

How do you handle someone who is lacking humility, the want to reconcile, the unwillingness to extend/offer forgiveness?

These conversations made me think mostly about how 

scripture outlines handling these questions...

And, my initial thought was "what provokes me to 

NOT consult scripture or pray about first?".  

The answer EVERY TIME is pride!!

How many times in scripture do 

people attempt to do things without the Lord's 

prompting...  

My friend gave a good example: 

The first time Moses hit the rock it turned into water.  

The second time Moses struck the rock - nothing.  

Why did the 'formula' work the first time but not the second??  

Moses was following the leading of Christ's

 'direction' the first time... Moses was NOT following 

Christ's direction the second, and nothing happened.  

When we try to 'do' tough situations, have tough conversations, 

raise our children, appeal to our husbands 

without seeking God for His direction thru 

scripture, prayer, and waiting on God's timing...

we are seeking our own glory 

(John 7:18 Whoever speaks on their own does so to gain 

personal glory, but he who seeks the glory of the one 

who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him). 

But...when we do things 

according to the Lord's prompting 

iron is allowed to sharpen iron. 

(Pro 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, 

so one person sharpens another); 

otherwise, we are just cutting.  

Please consider if you are sharpening or cutting....

Seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with thy God

He hath shewed thee, O man, 

what is good; and what doth the Lord 

require of thee, but to do justly, 

and to love mercy, 

and to walk humbly with thy God?

Micah 6:8

In the past few weeks, God has allowed

 me to practice this verse MULTIPLE times.

The questions I keep asking myself:

Is why do people feel justified 

to do and say whatever they 

want to others?? 

Who decided that this person is more of a value

to this beautiful Earth God has given us than another?

Does selfish have a black and white definition?

Until last night... 

Romans 7:4-6

My brothers and sisters, when Christ died you also died as far as the 

law is concerned. Then it became possible for you 

to belong to him. He was raised from the 

dead. Now our lives can be useful to God. 

⁵ Our sinful nature used to control us. The

 law stirred up sinful longings in our bodies. So the things we did resulted in death.

⁶ But now we have died to 
what used to control us. 
We have been set free
 from the law. 
Now we serve in the new way 
of the Holy Spirit. We no longer serve in the old way of the written law.

Last night, as I walk talking through, yet another, instance that God 
allowed me to witness...it dawned on me!! 

It is SO easy to do the wrong
choice, action, response, etc,
BUT we have to CHOOSE
to do the right choice, action, response, etc.

Romans 7 goes on to tell us....
¹⁵ I don’t understand what I do. I don’t do 
what I want to do. Instead, I do what I hate to do.
¹⁶ I do what I don’t want to do. So I agree that the law is good.
¹⁷ As it is, I am no longer the one who
does these things. It is sin living in me that does them.
¹⁸ I know there is nothing
 good in my sinful nature. I want to do 
what is good, but I can’t. ¹⁹ I don’t 
do the good things I want to do. I keep 
on doing the evil things I don’t want to do. ²⁰ I do 
what I don’t want to do. But I am not really 
the one who is doing it. It is sin living in me.
(shew that was a mouthful!! ;) ) 

AND HERE COMES THE BEST PART...stay with me... 

²¹ Here is the law I find working in me. 
When I want to do good, evil is right there 
with me. ²² Deep inside me I find joy in God’s 
law. ²³ But I see another law working in 
the parts of my body. It fights against the law 
of my mind. It makes me a prisoner of 
the law of sin. That 
law controls the parts of my body.
²⁴ What a terrible failure I am! Who will save me 
from this sin that brings death to my body? ²⁵ I give 
thanks to God. He will do it through Jesus Christ our Lord.
So in my mind I am a slave to God’s law. But 
in my sinful nature I am a slave to the law of sin.

I have struggled to handle with 
those who do not seek justice, do not love mercy, 
and do not want to walk humbly with, nor before, thy God.  
My flesh wanted to 'tell them exactly what they needed to hear', but
God reminded me that we are to
seek justice (a concern for justice, peace, and genuine respect for people),
love mercy (compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm), 
walk humbly with thy God (to walk proud before/with God says that we are more important than He is--REALLY??!!  He is our CREATOR for goodness sakes!!!). 

People!, we have to repent and realize that the God we will 
stand before someday will judge with 
justice, mercy and humility!! 
To expect anything less would minimize
 and limit who God is--WHO HE REALLY IS!! 

Spiritual responsibility: Kids or parents??

The past few months have been relaxing and challenging all at the same time. I have said a hundred times in the past year that I couldn't imagine raising teenagers without having a relationship with Christ: them or us. :)

 We graduated one from high school and helped the other pack for a summer away at camp.  As my children get older the challenge of 'allowing them to make their own decisions' has been a very fine balance to walk.  I trust my children...I trust them to make good decisions, but that mom in me still says that I should 'get to have my say'--right??  The one thing that God has reminded me of MANY, MANY, MANY times over the past few months is 'He directs their steps, I am just here to guide them toward Him.'  I am sure that I am not the only mom who struggles with this concept.  Don't get me wrong I trust God with my marriage, my children, my finances, my 'day to day' happenings....but the human side of me says "I should get a say in it".  The more I take my hands off of the 'decision making' the more God can and is working in my children's lives.  I am smiling now...  I often think of how things were when they were in public school.  They were hesitant to make decisions that didn't 'align with their friends'.  I would encourage them to do what is right no matter what their friends said or did, but with that came a cost of possible condemnation.  Since having them home, they have gained a confidence to 'relax and just be themselves'.  I am REALLY loving the relax version of who they REALLY are, but more than that I am getting to see who they REALLY are in Christ.  As we discuss or 'hash' out different topics or 'decisions', I am getting a window glimpse to their heart.  I love to see what God is doing in their life and their imperfections mingled in there. I love the conversations that challenge each of us to look or think about different topics from a different point of view.  (another great discussion: world view).  God has been so faithful to our family. 

With all thing being said, I would like to challenge you: Is the spiritual growth of our children ours to 'grow' or is it our children's responsibility to pursue their own relationship with Christ??  What are you doing to help your children have their own relationship with Christ?? 

My Cup Runneth Over....

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
³ He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

"...my cup runneth over...", "...my cup runneth over...", "...my cup runneth over..."

This sums up my week as a whole!!!  My father-in-law came out of recovery with flying colors & is coming home after only four days, my mother-in-law is feeling good about him coming home, some good friends of ours were given news that have been a place of stress for months, I have had two friends testify to God's goodness in their marriage, and enjoyed a beautiful evening celebrating 'being a girl'. 

Sometimes it's easy to spend minutes, hours, days, months, weeks, or months praying for God to change things, to change us, to change the situation, to change the outcome, to the change the present.  What if we spent just as much time thanking God for all of HIS goodness??  What if He heard our "Thank you for..." more often. 

The best part of prayer is how it changes us!!!  It doesn't change things, situations, outcomes or the present.  God changes our hearts....and His sovereignty is so much BIGGER than we can imagine. 
 

Mini-gods

The anticipation is building...
The food is ready...
Everyone that we want to be here with us for this event, is here...

What are we preparing for?? 
The supper bowl of course.

I did not watch the 2014 super bowl.  It's not because I do not LOVE football...I was the WORST football mom when Colten was playing.
I just have a hard time sitting in front of the television watching the 'mini-gods' run onto the field for 4-5 hours

I think about myself and how many gods I 'worship':
-  myself
-  time
-  money
-  circumstances

Then I think about how many times scripture reminds us of the danger of 'worshipping false gods' and having 'idols'. 

My prayer is to follow and worship the One, True God!!! 

Place In This World

Above is the video of Michael W. Smith's "A Place In This World", and below are the words from Michael W. Smith's song "A Place In This World".



As I am thinking about my oldest graduating from high school this year...my thoughts wonder to the fact that my youngest is right behind him by only a few years.  And then wonder to 'what is my place in this world' now that the dynamic of our family is changing? 



When my oldest was four years old and my youngest was two years old, my idea of being a mother changed.  A friend of mine gently exposed my faults as a mother... She revealed ways that I could improve my relationship with my children for the immediate and for the future. Everyone kept telling us 'relish these years', 'don't wish them away', ''who cares if your house is a wreck...they are only little once'.  I am sure many of you have heard these statements too many times, too.  I always walked away wondering if they knew what they were saying or if they were just exaggerating... 



For about five years now as they were growing into young adults, I have been preparing them to be adults that will contribute to society and God's kingdom, be able to handle a home of their own, and to be wise in their 'going forward'.  Don't worry...I have a point. 



Three years ago, my husband started a new job that keeps him away for days at a time...we are grateful for his job.  Can you hear the 'BUT' coming?  And many of you know that my hubs and I have had our own share of 'fun years' in our marriage.  Don't worry....still getting to my point.



Back to the exaggerating, helpful more experienced mothers:

How many of us get to the stage in life where you wonder how/where you fit in this life as it changes? Yes, I am finally getting to my point.  The kids are embarking on life choices that... yes, you will be involved with, but not making the decision...yes, they ask for your opinion, but ultimately will go with where they are lead...yes, they are going to fall and get back up, AND they will be okay... 



I look at my children--EXCITED to see how their life will follow where God takes them.  EXCITED for how I will fit into that plan?  EXCITED, and nervous...  The 'what if' statements begin...  Will they follow God's leading?  Will I fit into their plan??  And then God reminds me, " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. Maybe this was written to the Israelites back in the day...maybe this was written for me  '...for such a time as this?'  (Esther 4:14). 



I know that I am not the only mother who has gone thru 'this day' wondering what her place in this world will look like now that her role as momma is beginning to change/has changed/has already changed.  :)   I will continue to '...seek first the Kingdom of God...' (Mat 6:33)...to find what my place is in this world and looking forward to Heaven--where my hope and future lies.  :) 





The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled

A heart that's hopeful
A head that's full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems

Feels like I'm
Looking for a reason
Roamin' through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me

Hear me asking
Where do I belong?
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?

Show me, I'm
Looking for a reason
Roamin' through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

Lookin' for a reason
Roamin' through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

Lookin' for a reason
Roamin' through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world 

'Til death do us part with a lot of openness and honesty

We celebrated 18y married on October 14, 2013...

About a month ago Chon and I had the opportunity to attend a United Marriage Encounter. 
Scheduled for October 18-20, I asked Chon if he would like to attend a marriage encounter for our anniversary.  He responded with "sure".  Most couples see weekends like this to reconnect with uninterrupted talk, connecting, etc.  Truth be known...This weekend was a last ditch effort to save our marriage.

The past 11 years we have had 'life' happen.  Chon has traveled extensively at times and short periods of time, along with being laid off for months at a time causing financial strain, and now not having a any kind of schedule with no end in sight....you know life!!  In the meantime, staying connected was beginning to be non-existent.  Having time to be a couple was also becoming non-existent.  Unfortunately,  still being married was the standard of 'doing good in our relationship'.  Having the standard of 'still being married' as a barometer within a relationship is not a gauge that any relationship should use. We both love the Lord...  Praying for each other and our role as a spouse was not lacking, but our willingness to forgive and allow grace was.

We chose to leave our children at home - alone.  This would be the first time they would be left alone overnight --- EVER.  This would be the first time we have had some alone time intentionally focusing on each other--in 12 years.  Our plan was to grab a bite to eat at a sit down restaurant and then check-in at registration by 600p.  The sit down restaurant didn't happen...Yes, Chon was a little disgruntled because he was REALLY looking forward to Chinese--instead we had Hardee's. French fries always make things better. :)  Right?? 

Arriving at registration...our questions about what this weekend would hold were building. All we knew about this 'United Marriage Encounter" was that it focused on marriages. Looking back now, I was given  A LOT of information with details about what the weekend would hold, but I believe now that it was God's way of protecting us.  Had I paid attention to the detailed information I was given, I may have backed out of that commitment. 

We survived the weekend, and still wanted to be married - to each other!! We learned a lot about each other as a couple and as individuals.  I learned about myself that I get very gripped with fear and lack of trust with a result of shutting down to protect myself, but from what??  Chon learned that 'still being married' doesn't mean good marriage.  Neither one of us have ever considered breaking our vows as a result of our 'disconnect', but we also decided, after our encounter weekend, that our vows had deeper meaning than we had been living them.  The marriage vow is not intended to spotlight me for me or Chon for Chon, but rather me for him and he for me.

 So what did we learn from this weekend overall:
1. Why we still chose to be married to each other.
2. That all of our issues were issues we could get thru
3. That our goals for our future together and apart were still the goals that we both wanted.
4.  How important it is to invest in our relationship on a daily basis-not a weekly, monthly, bi-monthly basis.
5.  There's a difference between communication and discussing the events of tomorrow
6.  Communication is our BIGGEST glitch and will be our BEST correction.
7.  Grace is given and received.
8.  That fighting for the best is tough, but settling for 'just okay' is a lonely existence.

Marriages are a perfect picture of the relationship between God and Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ and man, man and woman, and parents and children....  So then when marriages have aligned themselves to how God designed then the picture becomes the picture of Christ and the church, the church's response to the world. 

Chon and I know that the road ahead of us is not going to be an easy road of 'making new, better habits', but will be worth every good fight for the BEST things.  Maybe if more people would see the 'good fight' is about fighting for what God would fight for and what God designed....there would be less broken homes.

Here's a thought: Let's stop fighting about how to split our 'material things' and start fighting for the 'best things in life'.