Mini-gods

The anticipation is building...
The food is ready...
Everyone that we want to be here with us for this event, is here...

What are we preparing for?? 
The supper bowl of course.

I did not watch the 2014 super bowl.  It's not because I do not LOVE football...I was the WORST football mom when Colten was playing.
I just have a hard time sitting in front of the television watching the 'mini-gods' run onto the field for 4-5 hours

I think about myself and how many gods I 'worship':
-  myself
-  time
-  money
-  circumstances

Then I think about how many times scripture reminds us of the danger of 'worshipping false gods' and having 'idols'. 

My prayer is to follow and worship the One, True God!!! 

Place In This World

Above is the video of Michael W. Smith's "A Place In This World", and below are the words from Michael W. Smith's song "A Place In This World".



As I am thinking about my oldest graduating from high school this year...my thoughts wonder to the fact that my youngest is right behind him by only a few years.  And then wonder to 'what is my place in this world' now that the dynamic of our family is changing? 



When my oldest was four years old and my youngest was two years old, my idea of being a mother changed.  A friend of mine gently exposed my faults as a mother... She revealed ways that I could improve my relationship with my children for the immediate and for the future. Everyone kept telling us 'relish these years', 'don't wish them away', ''who cares if your house is a wreck...they are only little once'.  I am sure many of you have heard these statements too many times, too.  I always walked away wondering if they knew what they were saying or if they were just exaggerating... 



For about five years now as they were growing into young adults, I have been preparing them to be adults that will contribute to society and God's kingdom, be able to handle a home of their own, and to be wise in their 'going forward'.  Don't worry...I have a point. 



Three years ago, my husband started a new job that keeps him away for days at a time...we are grateful for his job.  Can you hear the 'BUT' coming?  And many of you know that my hubs and I have had our own share of 'fun years' in our marriage.  Don't worry....still getting to my point.



Back to the exaggerating, helpful more experienced mothers:

How many of us get to the stage in life where you wonder how/where you fit in this life as it changes? Yes, I am finally getting to my point.  The kids are embarking on life choices that... yes, you will be involved with, but not making the decision...yes, they ask for your opinion, but ultimately will go with where they are lead...yes, they are going to fall and get back up, AND they will be okay... 



I look at my children--EXCITED to see how their life will follow where God takes them.  EXCITED for how I will fit into that plan?  EXCITED, and nervous...  The 'what if' statements begin...  Will they follow God's leading?  Will I fit into their plan??  And then God reminds me, " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. Maybe this was written to the Israelites back in the day...maybe this was written for me  '...for such a time as this?'  (Esther 4:14). 



I know that I am not the only mother who has gone thru 'this day' wondering what her place in this world will look like now that her role as momma is beginning to change/has changed/has already changed.  :)   I will continue to '...seek first the Kingdom of God...' (Mat 6:33)...to find what my place is in this world and looking forward to Heaven--where my hope and future lies.  :) 





The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled

A heart that's hopeful
A head that's full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems

Feels like I'm
Looking for a reason
Roamin' through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me

Hear me asking
Where do I belong?
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?

Show me, I'm
Looking for a reason
Roamin' through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

Lookin' for a reason
Roamin' through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

Lookin' for a reason
Roamin' through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world 

'Til death do us part with a lot of openness and honesty

We celebrated 18y married on October 14, 2013...

About a month ago Chon and I had the opportunity to attend a United Marriage Encounter. 
Scheduled for October 18-20, I asked Chon if he would like to attend a marriage encounter for our anniversary.  He responded with "sure".  Most couples see weekends like this to reconnect with uninterrupted talk, connecting, etc.  Truth be known...This weekend was a last ditch effort to save our marriage.

The past 11 years we have had 'life' happen.  Chon has traveled extensively at times and short periods of time, along with being laid off for months at a time causing financial strain, and now not having a any kind of schedule with no end in sight....you know life!!  In the meantime, staying connected was beginning to be non-existent.  Having time to be a couple was also becoming non-existent.  Unfortunately,  still being married was the standard of 'doing good in our relationship'.  Having the standard of 'still being married' as a barometer within a relationship is not a gauge that any relationship should use. We both love the Lord...  Praying for each other and our role as a spouse was not lacking, but our willingness to forgive and allow grace was.

We chose to leave our children at home - alone.  This would be the first time they would be left alone overnight --- EVER.  This would be the first time we have had some alone time intentionally focusing on each other--in 12 years.  Our plan was to grab a bite to eat at a sit down restaurant and then check-in at registration by 600p.  The sit down restaurant didn't happen...Yes, Chon was a little disgruntled because he was REALLY looking forward to Chinese--instead we had Hardee's. French fries always make things better. :)  Right?? 

Arriving at registration...our questions about what this weekend would hold were building. All we knew about this 'United Marriage Encounter" was that it focused on marriages. Looking back now, I was given  A LOT of information with details about what the weekend would hold, but I believe now that it was God's way of protecting us.  Had I paid attention to the detailed information I was given, I may have backed out of that commitment. 

We survived the weekend, and still wanted to be married - to each other!! We learned a lot about each other as a couple and as individuals.  I learned about myself that I get very gripped with fear and lack of trust with a result of shutting down to protect myself, but from what??  Chon learned that 'still being married' doesn't mean good marriage.  Neither one of us have ever considered breaking our vows as a result of our 'disconnect', but we also decided, after our encounter weekend, that our vows had deeper meaning than we had been living them.  The marriage vow is not intended to spotlight me for me or Chon for Chon, but rather me for him and he for me.

 So what did we learn from this weekend overall:
1. Why we still chose to be married to each other.
2. That all of our issues were issues we could get thru
3. That our goals for our future together and apart were still the goals that we both wanted.
4.  How important it is to invest in our relationship on a daily basis-not a weekly, monthly, bi-monthly basis.
5.  There's a difference between communication and discussing the events of tomorrow
6.  Communication is our BIGGEST glitch and will be our BEST correction.
7.  Grace is given and received.
8.  That fighting for the best is tough, but settling for 'just okay' is a lonely existence.

Marriages are a perfect picture of the relationship between God and Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ and man, man and woman, and parents and children....  So then when marriages have aligned themselves to how God designed then the picture becomes the picture of Christ and the church, the church's response to the world. 

Chon and I know that the road ahead of us is not going to be an easy road of 'making new, better habits', but will be worth every good fight for the BEST things.  Maybe if more people would see the 'good fight' is about fighting for what God would fight for and what God designed....there would be less broken homes.

Here's a thought: Let's stop fighting about how to split our 'material things' and start fighting for the 'best things in life'.

it's happened...

 

Today in our household was another

"It's happened" moment.

 

We have experienced a lot of first with our first-born, hence, the phrase 'first born' right??

Did I ever think that some of our firsts with him would feel so small and yet be so BIG?? 

Like:

His first night as birthed baby

His first night at home with just his very inexperienced parents

His first day of school

His first time at church camp

His first understanding of who Christ is for himself

His first best friend

His first fight,

(which I might add was to defend a kindergartener)

His first lost tooth

 

Well....you get the picture.

I know that when we first get the news that a new life has been

given that life will change every day a little bit or a lot,

but no one prepared us for the

 'much later down the road BIG changes'.

 

Today, as I have already mentioned, our first born experienced

yet another "It's happened" moment...

He got his license to drive - legally!!

I entered the facility cool.

I sat waiting on him to be called for his test - totally sick to my stomach.

I sat waiting for him to return from his test - now shaking.

To then see that amazing smile light up the place with a sense of

accomplishment and doubt....

I motioned with my face 'how did you do'?

His return face response was 'Not sure'.

He got the word that he passed. 

We left the place with me holding back tears and him sighing a sigh of relief.

HE PASSED!!!

 

To say that I wish I would have worked all the

years my children were small would never happen!!

To say that I wished I had a prestigious job now would

never happen!!

I would have never been privileged to experience so many BIG and small

"It's happened" moments.

BUT

To say that I am SOO very proud of the young

man he has become...

wouldn't even give it justice.

 

Red hat club... or not??

 

How many hats does a person wear in a day??

How many of those hats are worn in perfection??

How do you decide if you are doing a good job wearing that hat??

How many of those hats do you justify to make the hat fit perfectly??

What happens when you find out that the a specific hat does not fit??

How do you respond when someone tells you that that specific hat does not look good on you?

Or that you are wearing it incorrectly??

Or not wearing for the right reasons??

 

As a wife and mom I wear many hats:

** wife and mom - obviously

** encourager

**cheerleader - yes, I am the one on the

sidelines yelling REALLY loud = just ask my kids

** advocate

** defender

** guidance counselor

** teacher

** nurse

** the one to bounce idea off of

** disciplinarian - also known as the 'bad guy' at our house

** "military mom' as known by some

 

Now, let me start off, after that wonderful list,  by saying that

I DO NOT DO ANY OF THESE JOBS PERFECTLY!!!

However, I do take each of those jobs VERY SERIOUSLY!!!

Serious enough that if I ever stop learning what the REAL definition

 of any one of these mean or look like

I will be being laid to rest, and enjoying eternity-God willing.

 

So where does the REAL definition come from??

Vogue magazine (geared for woman of today)?  Nah...don't think so.

I know!!  How about Wikipedia??  Nah...not there either.

When I go looking for what anyone of those hats, and

many more that are not on that particular list looks like...

I consult who God says I am wearing that hat.

Pro 31:25

Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoin in time to come.

 

I have had lots of people tell me along the way that

I don't wear some of those hats correctly, appropriately,

efficiently enough, etc, etc -

You get the picture....

But who decides all of that??

Why do 'they' get to decide all of that??

Again, I am not looking for perfection, but I would like to hear

 at the end of the day:

 "... let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."  Heb 12:1

"Well done my good and faithful servant" Mat 25:21

That's the justification for my faults which are many...

 

I have a brother that is 17 months younger than me.

While we were growing up we were pretty close...we were practically

twins due to our age.

I remember numerous people telling us how much

we looked alike. 

Awe...right??

How endearing -- NOT!!

Especially when you get to be about 12 or 13 and wanting desperately to look

and sound like a girl...right??

So, I decided well before my eclectic style of fashion

began that I would NEVER wear a hat

so that I would avoid looking more like my brother - the boy!

Now don't get me wrong...I have a very nice looking brother,

but....  I wanted to be a girl!!

But the hats that I have been given in life aren't necessarily

a fashion no-no, but rather an enhancement to the ensemble.

And they don't always fit - correctly!!

So what's a girl to do?? 

Make it work - be adjustable,

or throw out the hat - and call it quits??

So my personality won't allow anything that has life still

in it to be thrown away...and that includes 'life hats'.

When a hat needs justification to fit the ensemble...

God has been faithful to instruct how to 'bedazzle' it

to fit the plan he had for the said accessory.

(yes, I am completely outside my comfort zone using fashion words-

definitely not my forte)

All things work together for them that love God, and are called according to HIS purpose.

Rom 8:28

 

HOWEVER, when you wear a hat that is not yours or does not fit...

(and I am not talking about physically fitting-not fitting your role)

who are you taking the blessing from ??

I think about all the hats that I wear in a day's time that

I PUT ON MYSELF...

Who am I stealing the blessing of that hat from:
My husband?

My children?
My neighbor?

Well....you get the picture.

 

Some of you have heard of the TV reality show called,

"What Not to Wear"... Right??

I have seen the above mentioned show maybe once or twice...

I turned it off or asked for it to be changed after a few minutes

 of watching  two people deciding that the ''skin" (comfort zone)

 of one person does not fit their 'ideological' version of fashion.

I JUST WANTED TO HURL!!

Now, I am not saying that some, and yes I am including myself in this equation,

don't have a need for fashion police on occasion,

BUT... Can't we gently, without throwing rocks at

each other, do that???

Can't we catch more flies with honey vs vinegar (Ps 15:1)??

 

I am a very passionate person...

*chuckling*

Most of you are gasping in surprise--I know....

I don't offend easily (you all can thank my sisters for that)...

BUT... 

don't stop learning how to be someone who wears

every hat given to them to be presented before our KING.

Pro 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;

fools despise wisdom and instruction.

 

Let grandma be grandma her way.

Let your mom be elderly her way.

Let your sister be a wife/mom her way.

Let your daughter be a woman of God her way.

Let your girlfriend be a friend her way.

 

 Last night as I was processing my day,

here's what I went to bed processing...

 I have been a part of a conversation with folks who

take the job of wife/mom

as 'just part of their lives' instead of

the GREATEST role we could be given!!! 

I also thought about a conversation that I had with a friend

that felt it necessary to decide whether another

was justified in their response to a life altering day...

 

Please be careful deciding if someone is wearing the

hat their given with dignity, pride, ignorance, or naiveté....

Rabbits, Rabbits, and more bunnies??

Last week we received a phone call that a friend of ours,

who knew that we had considered raising rabbits,

was selling their rabbits, hutches, watering pails,

remaining feed, and brooding boxes...and wondered

if we would be interested in purchasing them.

Well??? 

OF COURSE WE WERE!!! 



So we loaded up the van to check out the hutches

and rabbits, and before leaving we

paid the owner the asking price.

Two days later--we are making another

trip to pick up 'our purchase'. 

The guys worked very diligently to prepare the area

 that they the rabbits/bunnies would call their

'new home'.  As we left, we left

one doe that due to have bunnies due to the stress

of moving them to be too much. 

Today?

We returned to the owner's house to collect the

doe that was due and her new

bunnies. 

The whole family...

They are so sweet and so little.

So what is the purpose of adding this to our

'homestead' you may be asking yourself...

As cute as they are they will soon be

nourishment.  Mostly they will

be nourishing the dogs, but I am hoping to

expose my children and family to some

RABBIT STEW!

We will let you know how that goes... :)

June 8, 2012

Doe "mommy #3" had babies.  If you look
real close you can see a pink "shade" in the bottom/middle
- still unsure how many. 
Momma is not willing to share them just yet.

Daddy's little girl and Momma's little boy

When does this change?

How does this change?

Does it have to change?

When I moved out of my parent's house, I moved in

with my 'now husband'.

When I moved out of my parent's house, I did

not know how to do laundry-completely.

When I moved out of my parent's house, I did not know

how to cook many things.

I barely knew how to boil water.

When I moved out of my parent's house, I did not know what it

meant to keep a house or raise a family. 

As I prepared to be a wife the week of our wedding,

I know now that I had no idea

what I was getting into.

I had been 'playing' the part of a wife, but still did not

understand what it really meant.

When I brought my son home from the hospital, I did not

know how to change a diaper.

When I brought my daughter home from the hospital,

I did not know how to manage a two

year old and a newborn.

I watch my daughter with her dad and smile

because I see a sense of safety in her eyes and demeanor

that only a girl who has felt that will understand.

When I see my son open doors, offer to help, and find ways

to make himself available--I smile then too,

because I see a young man who is

caring, masculine, and

confident with who he is.

BUT....with all this being said....

As I watch my children becoming young adults I step back and  

wonder if we have done enough to prepare them

for adulthood.

I realize that we have a little time on our hands,

but not near enough when you realize that

their training, or lack thereof, can

be the difference between

whether they are ready....or not.

Is she ready to keep a home and raise a family?

Is he ready to provide for a home and family?

Society is going to tell her that being a

God-fearing wife and mother is not

glorious enough--IT IS!!

Society is going to tell him that being a good-leading,

God-fearing husband and father 

is not masculine enough--IT IS!! 

Are we being diligent enough

to raise young men and women to be ready for the role

God has given them?? 

My prayer is that when my children step into the role God has

given them that they are ready

to meet each day ready for what He has for them,

and that they never stop being

"Daddy's little girl and Momma's little boy" at heart.

I will miss them being

here everyday, but I also know that

what I will be missing is not going to be anchored in

guilt...but rather missing their company, their opinion,

their laughter, their comraderie with each other and

saturated in knowing they are doing

exactly what God has for them.

Daddy's little girl and Momma's little boy